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There's a lot to understand in life than one can imagine... one of which includes "MYSELF"...

Thursday, 13 June 2013

Life: A Journey Forever

Ah! At last! No matter how early they try to finish with exams, they seem to last forever; and end as if they had just started! And today, I finish with my third year too. :D
Well, these three years weren't a piece of cake either! Rather, they moved with a snail's pace too. But now that I think of it, I feel like it wasn't long ago when I graduated from my beloved school with a deep regret of not fulfilling everybody's and my own expectations and landing at a place I never wanted to be in.
Anyway, I'm not here to wail over my sad story of mistakes and regrets or preach about some self-proclaimed philosophy!
I just happened to ponder, how these three years which flew by so fast have brought about changes, and some not-so-changes in me and in people around me; changes that actually looked like they never happened!
I feel like I'm still hanging on to that 18 year old girl who tried to move on from every flaw in the past and was optimistic that come what may, things will get better! Yes, that's sad that its been three years and I still am thinking the same way.
Only exception that now I've learned there are more to the kind of people I had met, that the world isn't fair, and that the world isn't that bad. I've accepted that I'm way too innocent, too naive to understand the desperation of people in being the foremost, by hook or crook; and that to stay ahead you can't pause for your breath, not even for a second!
And yet, with all the disparaging realizations  I have also come to learn to cherish my moments, whether good or bad, because somehow they are teaching me something. The bad ones are strengthening me; the good ones making me grateful for the priceless family and friends and the little happiness in between to face the bad ones again! I have also learned how to be bold, to fight for my ambitions, to make a stand and take the place I deserve!
However cliched it may sound, Everything does happen for a reason.
I just hope, this time, whatever happens, does not just happen in a 'disguised' good, but real good.
With just one year left to my graduation, another beginning to a new phase of my life, the nostalgia, of working harder, achieving greater, fulfilling own's expectations and that of everybody around and not ruining one of the most crucial stages of my life, is daunting me again.
Though the fact that I'm back to square one, only with a little bit of newly found wisdom, is not promising, yet it's not that intimidating either.
There are still many books to read, many words to learn for their deep rooted meanings.
There are still lot many places to see, lot many different people to meet and impress, from all over the country and the world!
There is still a lot of knowledge to gain, a lot of wisdom to understand.
There are still lot many risks to take, many achievements, many failures.
There are still many memories to make, many happiness to treasure.
There is still lot to understand about myself.
And I'm still just a 21 year old.
And every age has its own perks.
All you need to do is Move Forward!
#As an afterthought, this reminds me of my most favourite lines of all times:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep.
And miles to go before to I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-Robert Frost




PS. One thing has definitely not changed: I still blabber a lot! :P

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Salt and Sugar


Relationships gone wrong, failure in something you desperately wanted, a lesson from a bad experience, joy from little happiness, unexpected love from a friend; we all taste the Salt and Sugar of life. Here are some similar to those, mixed with some of my own!


The Universal Anti-Depressant

She threw pages around after having ruined them already by writing and over-writing and scratching and darkening. She just couldn’t think of anything. She couldn’t make any decision, couldn’t perform her tasks well, and threw tantrums out of her outbursts of mood swings. Nothing was going right and their advice was to make a list? Yeah, dude I’ve got a whole bunch of things to do that I’m don’t know how to even start with, and you ask me to make a list! When she fumbled with all her tasks she was supposed to do, tried planning out strategies, in between which got even bored with her random doodling, her phone rang. “Mom!” She talked her usual stuff with her but suddenly she felt calmer, more at peace and the world didn’t seem that bad anymore. She made the list laughing at how useless it was cos it was her mom whose voice got the worst of her to the best of her.

Metamorphosis



Ria looked at Pranay for a brief moment; their eyes met but all they could do was smile. None knew what to talk about and small talks were not their forte. The cousins had met after five long years, and it occurred to them how everything had changed so swiftly. Ria was studying her journalism in Delhi while Pranay stayed back at his hometown doing CA. Once so similar to each other, their lives, their people, culture, outlook, everything had changed. A truth both lived, neither accepted. They sat in silence during the whole family function feeling overwhelmed with having lost their childhood friend, their alter ego into that stranger sitting in the front.

Reversed Roles


Manas had always known Tushar was brighter than him and would be more successful, perhaps even attain better position in career in lesser time than him in spite of being his junior. But never had he anticipated that they’d ever bump into each other like this; in the senior-junior relationship, again, only with the roles reversed. A college junior’s work junior? Yes, that was what he was now. Uncertain of his feelings about it, their relationship hanged on the wall of uncertainty as well.

Inevitable Demise 


“What else? “ The phrase had become repetitive and monotonous now for the past 10 minutes. They just had nothing to talk about! She didn’t want to hang up the phone, aware of the close approach of their friendship’s demise. A year ago, they could have talked endlessly; those 10 minutes would pass in a second. While now, it was difficult to drag the arms of the clock. Was she just getting emotional? Ridiculously thinking too much?  Or was it true that since the past few months, they were distancing apart, of fault of neither? There had been no misunderstanding or fight or mis-communication, yet something had gone wrong. She sighed when they finally hung up. She knew despite the distance, less meeting and only phone calls, they still loved  each other, would be there for one another always, still regarded each other as “sisters” or “best friends” or “girl- friends”, but sadly, not “close friends” anymore. They didn't share ‘anything and everything ‘, something that used to be a part and parcel of their friendship, now forgotten. Staying friends was all she could hope to be.


Hero’s Angel


Restlessness, irritability, annoyance, self- pity, low confidence, his mood got the best of him all the time. Everyone was getting recruited; all his friends but him. He felt dejected, discouraged, and insecure of losing his friends and the respect of family he had earned. He started doubting if he really should have come here.  Only thing that got him little excited was his little sister coming to town. He didn’t realize it but she instantly picked up his desolate mood veiled by gleaming eyes and smile upon her arriving when he picked her up.  She knew he was upset over rejections in campus, but she couldn’t gather the courage to talk to him about it.  The whole weekend they roamed around the city, went to new places, and tried new dishes, sometimes his friends tagging along too. For the first time in life, they had real fun. When it was time for her to depart, she noticed his teary-eyed brother who tried hard to keep that hidden, but in vain. His closest friend, who she suspected was his girlfriend took her aside and hugged. “You made him smile and happy. He needed this desperately.” On her way to here, she had thought proudly how her brother was a hero to her; now on her way back, she prided herself how her hero valued her as much.




Saturday, 22 September 2012

An Impasse, That Was.


Forgive me, for what I’m gonna do right now is just blabber. I haven’t written since ages! Not that I’ve been overwhelmingly busy or lazy or even pretending to be, rather I’m always flooded with ideas when I’m most swamped, following which I’d make a note to myself to write a blog about it. Even sentences would start forming up in my mind…but I’d be too tied up to jot them down.

Friday, 23 December 2011

Those Lost Big Little Things...

I stood by the window, silently. Watching the sun slowly setting down the horizon bidding it goodbye after another day.
And I still kept waiting for YOU. You had promised you'd call. When was that, though?
Probably you were caught up with something. Probably your mom was sick again and you were worried and didn't want to worry me.

Thursday, 8 December 2011

A Retrospect

It had been a long day and she was returning home with her dad. Her dad was not very talkative and she seemed to like that. Except for the usual "How was your day?" and stuff, they didn't talk much and she just looked around silently, pondering on her day that had just passed.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Through The Eyes of A Lone Mechanical Girl


Most of my readers are aware of my fate that met me the very first day of my college last year. Though being the only girl in Mechanical Engineering is not really a surprise to those who know about it…but being alone especially when you already have six others for company is rather a raising-eyebrows one.
And well, yeah, I was that “lone” girl, thanks to my roll number which could not be 3 more numbers behind or I could be in second section (ME-B) leaving the first section (ME-A) completely bereft of girls! :P
Though I managed to get permission to sit in the girls-wala section (as I call it) in the I sem, I could not get so in the next one.

Monday, 12 September 2011

The Mother Earth Prays...

I pray to thee, masters of the world,

Forgive me, if I've ever been wrong.

All I wanted was to give you life.

All I ask you for is to live by your side.